The Cat's in the Gutter and A Silver Spoon
Animals are attracted to us here, especially the dead ones which you would think are easier to care for.
Late one evening we are in bed when we hear a loud thumping sound outside our bedroom. We get up and go outside to locate the source of the sound. Now it is very loud and we see the rain gutter above us vibrating where it enters the downspout. At first we were not comfortable being there since some type of indigenous wildlife could suddenly come bursting out of the gutter. I would rather face a raging bull in a pasture than a small mammal with large incisors racing at me in the night. I was prepared to run if necessary, remembering well that it is not important that I can outrun the predator as long as I can outrun Amy when the chase begins. I shifted my weight to my left side and tensed my legs which I figured could give me a half-second headstart on Amy should the need occur. If you think I’m overreacting, remember the carnage caused by the bunny with teeth in the Monty Python flick, In Search of the Holy Grail.
Since we are both intellectual and enjoy puzzles, not to mention a good debate, we begin a logical discussion of what it could possibly be that is making that much noise and shaking things up. I think it is a large rat that was chased by cats into the downspout, got caught in the narrow gauge of the pipe and was having violent death throes. Possibly the noise was being made by cats trying to pull the rat out of the spout. Amy thinks a cat got caught in the gutter and was trying to extricate itself. The only way to resolve the dilemma would be to get a ladder and a flashlight. Amy refused to do that and I certainly wasn’t going to do that so we went back to bed. The noise continued unabated for several hours.
The next morning a faint smell of decay informed us that there would be no more noise but by afternoon, body fluids were coming out of the downspout. Two brave souls living in Nicaragua could handle this. The days are hot so we figured at best; the animal’s body would decay and flush down the gutter within two days. Remember, I thought it was only a rat.
Day two, the smell is horrendous and fluids continue coming out of the downspout. It is so bad we can’t be in our bedroom and the maid refuses to go near the area. Surely, we are over the hump and the next day will be better. What’s the alternative? Get a ladder and scrape the remains out?
Day three, no one will enter the back half of our house because the stench is overpowering. Superman would be able to handle large amounts of kryptonite easier than flying near our bedroom. I try using a hose to spray water on the roof hoping the carcass or remains will flush down the spout. No success, it just bothers the flies.
Day four, I no longer believe it is a rat that got caught in the gutter. By the smell, it must be a large steer or a horse. By this time, I would pay anything to get rid of the smell but I can’t bring myself to tackle this grueling task. My college degree is in business, not body remains. Two young men are working on a project for us and they offer to remove the carcass. We prepare them for the exhuming of whatever remains within our gutter system. A pair of rubber gloves is found for one of them and we improvise for the other by putting several plastic bags around his hands. Two other plastic bags are double bagged to hold the remains. A ladder is moved into position while Amy and I act as observers from around 30 feet away.
The one young man climbs the ladder, reaches into the gutter and pulls out a large yellow cat or at least a reasonable facsimile of a cat. Amy was right. Apparently the cat had got its head caught in one of the struts holding the gutter to the roof. He dumped the remains into the bags, put the bags in the garbage can and we sealed the top. Several gallons of bleach were then poured into the gutter and water was liberally sprayed over the entire area. Immediately the house smelled much better.
The next dead animal will be removed immediately but hopefully by Amy.
Late one evening we are in bed when we hear a loud thumping sound outside our bedroom. We get up and go outside to locate the source of the sound. Now it is very loud and we see the rain gutter above us vibrating where it enters the downspout. At first we were not comfortable being there since some type of indigenous wildlife could suddenly come bursting out of the gutter. I would rather face a raging bull in a pasture than a small mammal with large incisors racing at me in the night. I was prepared to run if necessary, remembering well that it is not important that I can outrun the predator as long as I can outrun Amy when the chase begins. I shifted my weight to my left side and tensed my legs which I figured could give me a half-second headstart on Amy should the need occur. If you think I’m overreacting, remember the carnage caused by the bunny with teeth in the Monty Python flick, In Search of the Holy Grail.
Since we are both intellectual and enjoy puzzles, not to mention a good debate, we begin a logical discussion of what it could possibly be that is making that much noise and shaking things up. I think it is a large rat that was chased by cats into the downspout, got caught in the narrow gauge of the pipe and was having violent death throes. Possibly the noise was being made by cats trying to pull the rat out of the spout. Amy thinks a cat got caught in the gutter and was trying to extricate itself. The only way to resolve the dilemma would be to get a ladder and a flashlight. Amy refused to do that and I certainly wasn’t going to do that so we went back to bed. The noise continued unabated for several hours.
The next morning a faint smell of decay informed us that there would be no more noise but by afternoon, body fluids were coming out of the downspout. Two brave souls living in Nicaragua could handle this. The days are hot so we figured at best; the animal’s body would decay and flush down the gutter within two days. Remember, I thought it was only a rat.
Day two, the smell is horrendous and fluids continue coming out of the downspout. It is so bad we can’t be in our bedroom and the maid refuses to go near the area. Surely, we are over the hump and the next day will be better. What’s the alternative? Get a ladder and scrape the remains out?
Day three, no one will enter the back half of our house because the stench is overpowering. Superman would be able to handle large amounts of kryptonite easier than flying near our bedroom. I try using a hose to spray water on the roof hoping the carcass or remains will flush down the spout. No success, it just bothers the flies.
Day four, I no longer believe it is a rat that got caught in the gutter. By the smell, it must be a large steer or a horse. By this time, I would pay anything to get rid of the smell but I can’t bring myself to tackle this grueling task. My college degree is in business, not body remains. Two young men are working on a project for us and they offer to remove the carcass. We prepare them for the exhuming of whatever remains within our gutter system. A pair of rubber gloves is found for one of them and we improvise for the other by putting several plastic bags around his hands. Two other plastic bags are double bagged to hold the remains. A ladder is moved into position while Amy and I act as observers from around 30 feet away.
The one young man climbs the ladder, reaches into the gutter and pulls out a large yellow cat or at least a reasonable facsimile of a cat. Amy was right. Apparently the cat had got its head caught in one of the struts holding the gutter to the roof. He dumped the remains into the bags, put the bags in the garbage can and we sealed the top. Several gallons of bleach were then poured into the gutter and water was liberally sprayed over the entire area. Immediately the house smelled much better.
The next dead animal will be removed immediately but hopefully by Amy.
Granada Time